A cherry lover's request
by akagami hime chan
Summary: Sakure needs something from Sakura. What, you ask? not even she can imagine it. Warnings for crazy dialogues,a fcked up fic writter's snide comments and fluff just a little .


_**First time writing a fic about this pairing! Sasuke might be a little OOC or maybe a lot. But please remember that this is all a parody so it was supposed to be like that. By the way, Naruto or any of the characters in this fic obviously don't belong to me. But i wish they did.**_

Just another sunny morning in Konoha. I was walking around the hospital in my medic-nin outfit and smiling cheerfully at the patients and nurses. Why would I, Sakura Haruno, smile, you say?

There's always some reason to smile.

Want me to give you reasons?

Okay, I will:

1) I've been known all my life as the cherry tree of Konoha, after all , thanks to my silky pink hair (which I had let grown until some deranged asshole decided that it would be nice to beat me up in order to later get my team mates Naruto and Sasuke, my childhood crush, and ended up giving me a chin length hair cut during my chuuning exams) and twinkling viridian eyes. My skin is unblemished milky expanse, my legs are long and toned and I've got a decent bust size (maybe not as big as my friend Ino's but still, who cares? I DO. Oh, shut up, inner voice, I'm trying to stay optimistic here).

2)I'm one of the most intelligent ninjas in Konoha, and the second best medic nin, right after Tsunade, my alcoholic mentor.

4) I've got many friends, that love me and that I love

5)I'm single but happy. I know that sounds like bullsh*t but most of my friends are in relationships (Ino with Shikamaru, Naruto with Hinata, Tenten with Neji,…) and I don't really want to be like them, all happy and bouncy and excited all the time, squeaking around everytime my boyfriend sends me a cute text message and…Okay, so I'm probably jealous, SO WHAT?

6) whomever wrote this fic is obviously less intelligent than a 5 year old since she doesn't know how to count and missed the third reason of my list. See? Yet another reason to smile.

So I was enjoying a break walking around the hospital when I felt a familiar presence behind me.

I turned around.

-OH MY FRIGGING GAWD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU DERANGED PSYCHO? –then I remembered that I'd been hearing people gossiping around town about how "the Uchiha hottie" had come back at last.

-I see you missed me- Sasuke said with his trademark I'm-so-evil-but-you-love-me-anyway-cause-I'm-so-hot smirk. He was, but I was not about to admit it.

-WELL I DID BUT ONLY FOR THE FIRS 200 CHAPTERS OF NARUTO SHIPPUUDEN, THEN YOU TRIED TO KILL ME AND I GOT OVER YOU!

-You shouldn't scream, you're inside a hospital and I don't think people here want to hear you yelling my head off.

-Why you little….-But in the end I stalked off out of the building- So, why are you here? –I was definitely calmer after counting to 10.

-I need you to…-I opened my eyes like an owl and cut him off, completely freaked out.

-NO WAY IN HELL ARE YOU USING ME AS A BREEDMARE TO REVIVE YOUR CLAN JUST BECAUSE OF HOW I BEHAVED YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS A HORMONE DRIVEN TEENAGER-and here I was doing such a good job at calming myself…

-You're still a teenager.

-SHUT UP! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I'TS NOT MY FAULT THAT I FOLLOWED YOU AROUND LIKE A LOVESICK PUPPY!I WAS 12 YEARS OLD!

-Not that you've mentally grown up much…-me mumbled

-WHAT. SAY?-I practically bristled. I wasn't feeling happy that evening. Did I say evening? I know it's confusing, but please, blame the one who wrote the fic.

-ANYWAY! YOU CAN'T JUST COME BACK AFTER ABANDONING ME LIKE THAT! YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN LIKE ME TO BEGIN WITH

-Look, let's get over with this. You've got something that I need and I want you to give it to me.

-What? I'm guessing here that you don't want to impregnate me in order to revive your almost whipped out clan soooo….what do you want?

-You know what I want.

-I do?

-Yes, you do

-I do what?

-You know what I want

-I don't know! That's why I just asked!

-Yes you do

-…how can you even know if I know something?

-I just do

-But how? It's not like you can read my mind…-I trailed off looking at my shoes, then peeked at him.

-…

-YOU CAN?

-I can what?

-CAN YOU READ MY MIND?-I seriously hoped not, I had been mentally undressing said Uchiha prodigy for like half an hour. What? That I'd just been talking to him for 5 minutes? Again, don't blame me.. blame the retarded that wrote this fic, she doesn't even have a clock in her room because the one she had broke after she tripped over her school bag and landed facedown on the table, successfully knocking down the books pilling all over it and the pink and black bunny clock that was on top of one of the aforementioned book mountains.

-…

-Answer me you bastard!-I was hyperventilating already. I was going to faint at any moment and it better be another person who found me in that state. I was sure that if it were for this jackass in front of me, he would just kick me aside and continue his merry

way (to hell, cause that's where Uchihas, Maths teachers and dried up markers go to)

-Hn- he was smirking. I had a sudden urge to use my chakra infused punch to wipe that little condescending smile off of his face. And maybe wipe his face off of his face. And of the world. And of the anime. Wait, what? Is this an anime? _**No, this is in fact just a fic. None of this insane shit would have ever happened in the real anime or the manga**_. Ahh, okay then. No, wait, who are you and why are you talking from inside my head? _**Oh, don't mind me, I'm just some random voice**__. _OMG YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WROTE THIS FIC! _**Nope, I just said that I was some random vo**__- _NO WAY! YOU'RE TOTALLY THE FIC WRITER! YOU BITCH, DON'T YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CLOCK AROUND YOUR ROOM? THESE TIME LAPSES ARE GETTING CONFUSING AS HELL!

-What?-I was having trouble remembering why I had loved him those years ago, he was more annoying than Tsunade when she had a hangover.

-That I know you know what I want-I could see it in his eyes. He was having fun confusing me.

-LOOK, ASSHOLE. TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT AND GET OUT OFF MY SIGHT- I'm not going to say I'm a patient person, but this jerk would seriously make a saint want to bang his head against a wall.

He didn't seem to like my tone of voice or maybe he was just PMS-ish or something so he stalked right in front of me and proceeded to yell right back at me.

-GIVE ME BACK MY CHERRY SKIN FOUDATION.- Uohh, he'd finally snapped.

-what foundation? Did you leave your creams here when you run away to Orochimaru's cave?

-I left them in your house and afterwards I was a missing-nin so I couldn't just ask you to return them to me- he explained rather grudgingly. I was surprised that he felt the need to justify his actions. It was almost as if he cared about my opinion. Which was startling to say the least. He hadn't given a flip when he left me to run after his snake lover master.

-You know? I would have never pegged you for a cherry flavoured skin foundation kind of guy. Maybe grapefruit, or coconut, or even pineapple, seeing as you like that kind of style for your hair and all that…

-My hair does not look like a pineapple – He was back to standing totally stiff, as if somebody had just shoved his foot up his ***…_**too graphic, I don't want to write swear words cause then I'll end up rating this M and you people will think that this has Lime and when you read it you'll discover that this is just a couple of pages of random shit and that there's no explicit sex and you'll hate me and flame me and then I'll curl up in a corner of my room eating ice cream and all this stupid summer dieting will go to hell. And I don't want that, I wanna fit in my new bikini**__._ Did you just censor my thoughts, you b*****! OH YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN! _**I know, I'm totally evil. But then again, I'm the older sibling in my family, so it's kind of expected of me to be that way.**_ BUT YOUR CENSORING IS COMPLETELY RANDOM, YOU LET ME SAY "SHIT" AND "ASSHOLE" BEFORE! _**Did I?**_YES YOU DID YOU DAUGHTER OF A P******! _**Hehehe**_ I was going to say "pineapple", you know? _**Oh shit…**_ YOU JUST WROTE "SHIT"! _**I didn't**_. YOU SO DID. _**Let's just go on with the story**__. _

Don't joke about it. I like cherries, okay? –he growled out.

Hmm…- Why did that ring a bell? _**Why indeed? Can't you figure it out? All that forehead for nothing**__…_ DAMN YOU –So…you're a cherry addict, huh?

-Maybe I am-he scowled at me and narrowed his eyes.

I narrowed my eyes too.

He narrowed his even more.

-Hahaha, you look as if you were constipated!**- **_**And you wonder why you don't have a boyfriend?**_OH, SHUT UP….

-What is it to you whether I like cherries or not?- he growled again and I shivered at his deep grumbling voice. DAMN YOU HORMONES.

-Nothing, I don't care. At all!-I had to get away fast, or else something very bad was bound to happen. Namely, me, jumping him and possibly raping him in the middle of the street at midday. _**Hahahaha it was morning. MORNING! I screwed with your time conception again! **_I'm going to death glare at you now._**You can't do that, I'm inside your mind, remember?**_Oh, Kami…

-I don't like you-I said, obviously lying.

-Neither do I- He shot back.

-You don't like yourself? Can't say I'm surprised, you're a jerk.

His eyes narrowed into slits again. He was about to say something again when a voice popped out of nowhere.

_**OKAY, lovebirds, time for a make out session!**_

_-_a voice? Who are you- Sasuke asked looking quite freaked out.

-Don't mind him, he's just the fic writer

_**Hey, I'm a girl, bitches.**_

-And she's completely random on what she censors and what not, see?- I explained to him.

Sasuke visibly relaxed –for a moment there I thought I was going crazy…

_**Don't worry, pal. You are completely snake-shit crazy already. Snake. Hahaha, you get it? Because of Orochimaru and….why are you glaring at me? **_

-Don't mind her, she's just grumpy from not eating chocolate in a week.

-Okay. What are you doing here anyway?-he asked, still suspicious.

_**I've decided to speed up things a little bit. You see, I'm supposed to be studying for this freaking huge tests in early June that will mostly decide what degree I can study next year at university but I've been reading fics the whole morning instead of doing that and I just had to find and outlet for all the ideas those awesome stories have given me. However, I really need to start studying and it looks like you two are just too dense to leave you on your own so I decided to butt in to help a little.**_

-How thoughtful of you- I said, crossing my arms in annoyance.

_**I try**_

-so what do you want? -Sasuke snapped.

_**Just wanted to give you a crash course on morphology: Sakura means "cherry tree" in Japanese.**_

Seconds passed by.

_**-**_Is that it? –I asked getting more and more irritated by the moment.

_**Uhh, yeah. I just wanted to let you know, what with your name meaning "Cherry tree" and Sasuke's addiction to the fruit given by the aforementioned tree…**_

_-_huh?- I said, showing my eloquence. Obviously not one of the reasons why I'm considered one of the most intelligent ninjas of Konoha.

_**What I mean is that it's nice that there's so much sexual tension between you two, but that you should kiss already so that I can go back to studying!**_

I didn't answer, I was outraged, although a little voice in my head squeaked at the awesomeness of the idea. _**Cause I'm so awesome**__. _Get out of my head. _**You're no fun.**_

-So you're saying that I should just shove my tongue down her throat cause you have to go to study?- Sasuke spoke up, for the first time for what seemed like hours but had probably been just 5 minutes. I know, I know, this fic writer's concept of time is completely fcked up. _**I HEARD THAT**__. _Anyway, he didn't look too happy. He looked kind of unstable in fact.

_**Huhh….i don't know if this will help, but Sakura-chan here's wearing cherry lip gloss right now, you know?**_

Sasuke just growled again and before I had a chance to mentally prepare myself for it he had closed the little distance between us and lips crashed onto mine.

_**I'm so smart, hehehehe.**_

We both decided to ignore her, enjoying the feeling of the kiss instead.

-You're not getting away from me now, you know?-he muttered agains my lips.

-Not that I'm going to try to, you moron.

_**That was it! Hope you liked it.**_

_**If you find grammar mistakes please tell me so I can correct them. **_

_**Reviews are appreciated. Scratch that. REVIEWS ARE NEEDED SO THAT I WILL KEEP ON WRITING, seriously. Spending your time writing things like this and then getting zero feedback is like getting a 0 on a test for which you studied for a whole week. Not pretty. So please, please. Say something T_T!**_

_**Sakura: you sound so clingy and needy, no wonder you don't have a boyfriend**_

_**Me: STFU! IT WAS ME WHO GOT YOU A BF AND BESIDES…I don't have a boyfriend cause I don't like anybody right now…**_

_**Sakura: suuuuuure…..**_

_**Me: ¬¬ in my next fic, I'm gonna hook you up with Jiraya.**_

_**Sakura: OMGGGGGG! Please don't.**_

_**Sasuke: …. *death glare***_

_**Me: he's glaring at me, people. So I guess I'll just shut up. For now. MWAHAHAHAHA.**_


End file.
